On the subject of dogs...

I admit, I love dogs. Big dogs, small dogs, short-haired, long-haired... I don't care. If it's a dog, I love it. At the moment, I have what I consider to be the most perfect dog on the planet: A Pug. More on that later. The purpose of this entry is to explain a bit about why I love dogs so much. I mean, I shouldn't have to. To me, a love of dogs should be a universal thing. But I get that some folks just don't get it. So listen up. Here's Dogs101 from your instructor, me.

The earliest known appearance of what we would call a "dog" seems to have been around about 31,700 years ago. While that creature was likely not terribly friendly, the first archeological evidence of a dog being a companion to a human was about 14,700 years ago. So what that means is that for more than fourteen-thousand years, these fuzzy buggers have been hanging around human beings, and not just for scavenging purposes. Evidence shows that they have been helping us by hunting with us, being companions to us, and doing largely what dogs do today. Let that sink in for a moment. Fourteen thousand years. Fourteen millennia. Most folks really can't grasp of how long that is. I surely can't.

So we flash forward a few centuries (to the present), and a very interesting piece of research appeared, via National Geographic.  I'll save you the trouble of reading it and give you the short version: Dogs and humans evolved together, and that love of dogs I'm talking about? It appears to be genetic. You read that right. Genetic. As in it's hard-coded into our DNA. Which means it's also hard-coded into their DNA.

But, if we ignore the science for a few minutes, I think I can break down why I love them so much to a few more base reasons.

First off, it's the ears.

Have you ever just sat there and played with a dog's ears? Big floppy ears, little pointy ears, ears that stand up or lay down... It doesn't matter. Ears. The fur on the ears is so soft and velvety, it's impossible to feel it and not feel relaxed. They're so expressive. I used to have a dog that held one ear up and one down. On purpose. We used to think he couldn't raise the other one, but he proved us wrong. he just did it that way. Think of it as your dog's hair style. Or like an extension of eyebrows. They're friggin' awesome. And, by the way, if you clip your dog's ears to make them look tougher, you are guilty of animal abuse, and I immediately believe you're an asshole.

Then there's the tails.

Well, butts and tails, if I'm being all inclusive. I love big long tails, little cinnamon-bun tails, even dogs with no tails. Look, remember the old song "If You're Happy and You Know It?" I added a dog-verse that I sing all the time. "If you're happy and you know it, wag your butt." You ever notice how when a dog is happy, he doesn't just wag his tail, but he wags his whole body? Like his WHOLE body? Butt-wiggles are amazing, and one of the things I love the most about dogs. To me, it's impossible to keep the smile off my face when a happy, wiggly doggie comes wagging his way up to you. It's contagious. And if you dock your dog's tail to make him look tougher, you're guilty of animal abuse and I immediately believe you're an asshole.

Even moreso, it's the dog in general. Look, dogs, from the time they're puppies (and don't get me started on puppies... puppy breath is one of the greatest smells in the world) to the time they're old, all they want is to be loved. They want to play. They want to be petted. They want you to like them. That's it. Dogs are made of pure love. Everything else that happens to them, we do to them. They want nothing more than to run around and sleep and play, and you're lucky enough to have one in your life, they want to play with you. Do you realize how special that is? Dogs don't care about your makeup, or your fashion sense, or your raging comic-book and D&D habit. They love you. Unconditionally. They love you. Let that one sink in for a moment. They don't care how badly you screw up at work or whether or not you're as rich as your neighbors. They just love you. And to me, that's kind of amazing.  No matter what, dogs are happy when you come home, thrilled when you come into the room, and overjoyed when you pay attention to them.

So, as I mentioned before, I have a pug.

Meet Max. And his pumpkin.

His full name is Sir Maximus Pugnacious. He is, perhaps, the best dog on the planet, and I'll debate anyone who says otherwise. He's alternately brave and a coward, snuggly and rambunctious, and he is unquestionably my best buddy and partner in crime. He rides my Harley with me.

Seriously. Pug life. 

Max is the dog I wanted since I was a kid, and I love him.

See, to me, dogs are a gift. If you believe in a higher power, you need but look at a dog to see proof of your faith. Because, to me, only a higher power could look down and see human kind and say "he looks lonely. I believe I'll give him a companion." And lo, the dog came. We were gifted something so pure, so full of love and loyalty. The higher power said make it fierce to protect him, compassionate to comfort him, fun to play with him. If you doubt dogs have souls, I doubt you have a soul. They are self-aware, smart, and amazing. And, to me, they are essential parts of my life.

Until next time -

-=SAJ=-

How Thankful Am I?

Politics be damned, I still have a great deal for which to be thankful. I don't post it enough, and I know this blog often has depressing overtones. It's part of my personality and psyche, after all. But here we are, moving closer to the end of the year, and we're coming upon one of my favorite holidays:  Thanksgiving. Bearing that in mind, I would like to take this opportunity to let you know about a few of the things for which I am truly thankful. And also, I feel like, in light of recent events and the ongoing issues in our country, we all need to be reminded every once in a while that there are things for which we can be thankful. 

So here's my partial list: 

• My wife - I met Katie at a time in my life when I was ready to give up. She brought me back from that. Made me feel like myself again. She became more than just a girlfriend, more than a lover... She became my best friend. She became my confidant. She became the person upon whose shoulder I could cry, who would laugh at my jokes, and who wouldn't judge me for being the damaged wreck of a human being that I am. She married me (officially) this year in March, and I can honestly say something I never thought I would say again:  I'm happy. For someone like me, happiness comes in fleeting bursts and are treasured moments. With her, those bursts come more often and last longer. 
• My kids - I've got two. Daughters. One is off living on her own, finding her own path, and doing what makes her happy. That makes me proud. The other is still in high school and has my sense of humor. They both are responsible for the greatest joys and worst sadness in my life, and I wouldn't trade either of them for gold. 
• My pug - Sir Maximus Pugnacious, eater of bacon, destroyer of underwear, first of his name, long may he reign. Max may have seemed like an expensive luxury, but he is one of the greatest creatures in my life. For someone who, like me, has PTSD and depression, a pup can be exactly what you need to bring you out of a terrible state. Max does that for me. 
• All my other pets - Timoune, Bitsy, Fuzz-Butt, Buster, Pretty Fish, Carmel... I know. I own a zoo. Don't care. They're more than my pets. They're part of my family. 
• I have a job - Lots of people don't. Lots of people have jobs, but are still unable to afford health care or homes or cars or internet or cellphones or dinner. I have a job. My job provides me with health care, a roof over my head, my car, my Harley, the occasional night out. As much as I bitch about my job, I'm thankful I have it. 
• My family (extended and otherwise) - They say everyone has two families:  One into which they are born, the other the one they chose. The family into which I was born includes my brother and his family, my father, my first and second set of in-laws, and everyone to whom I claim blood relation. And I'm so thankful for them. But I'm also thankful to my extended family. My chosen family, if you will. These are people who adopted me as one of their own. Who treat me like blood even though they don't need to. People like the Hopemans, the McCrocklins, the Taylors... People like my extended Kajukenbo family. People who I seldom get to see, but I love them the same. People with last names like Prather, Barton, Moore. People who came to my wedding and who have stood by me.
• My other jobs - I'm a writer. I'm a teacher. I'm a coach. These things help define who I am, and I'm thankful for the privilege of doing these jobs. I'm thankful for my agent, every editor who has rejected (or accepted me), every student I've ever had (even the ones I didn't get along with), my instructor and those I've instructed. 
• My situation - How many people get a second chance? How many people can say they've been through what I have and are still standing? Probably plenty. I'm not special. But I'm thankful that I am alive, and that I am in my current situation. 

There are so many more things for which I'm thankful that I could go on for days, and every moment would bring something else to mind. Thankful my mother made me take typing. Thankful my father never let me quit Boy Scouts. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera... The point is, there are so many things around for which I can be thankful, and this time of year is designed to bring us to reflect upon them. 

For many, the things for which I am thankful are out of reach. Not everyone has cars, dogs, family... Not everyone can afford a roof or Thanksgiving dinner. At this time, it's important, not only to remember the things we often take for granted, but to reach out to those who may not have as much. It isn't my place to tell you to whom you should reach. But remember that, for some, this year there ins't so much for which to be thankful. So make them thankful that you're part of their lives. Be the person who says "join us." Be the safe haven. Be the blanket. Be the change that you want to see in the world. And when you do, believe it or not, you'll be all the more thankful. 

Until next time ---

SAJ

In a Good Place

I know that, from the last blog, it seems like I'm about a pug's whisker away from ending it all. But I'm not. Really, and from the bottom of my heart, I'm in a good place. For the first time since 2011, I'm in a good place. So that's the reason for this entry. A long time ago, I had to remind myself of how fortunate I was, and I've been doing it every day to make it through the working hours. And it isn't always easy. I mean, really, sometimes I have to take a step back and remind myself why I don't just wrap my car around a telephone pole. But a long time ago, I had an epiphany, and my life was forever changed.

Five years ago, I wasn't in a good place. I'll spare you the horrible details of what was going on at the time. Chances are, if you're reading this, you already know. Suffice to say, I'm still dealing with all the bullshit. But here's a list of all the things that have already gone right for me this year, and things that continue to go right for me. We'll start from the general to the more specific (and important), and I'll attempt to explain why each one is a good thing, in case it isn't obvious.

• I'm alive. That's (arguably) better than the alternative.
• I still have a job. I see so many people out there who don't, who can't make ends meet, who can't even get a foot in the door. I've got twenty years with the same university.  I realize that's around half of my life working for the same entity, but that same entity has allowed me to put a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on my table.  I have health insurance because of that university, and I can provide for my family because of it. 
• Actually, I have multiple jobs. I work for two universities (one as staff, the other as faculty).  I also am a martial arts instructor (5th dan black belt), and I'm a writer. 
• My daughters love me. Self explanatory.
• I have thirteen books published. Thirteen. How many people out there never get one published?  Lots. Let alone thirteen. 
• My fur-babies. Yeah, I know, but still.  I have a pug and three cats. I can't even express to you how much better they make me feel. 
• My friends. I used to only need the fingers of one hand to count the number of real friends I had, and I was fine with that. Now I need a few more hands, and I consider myself really fortunate that so many people out there love me. 
• My family. Not just my little nuclear family, but my extended family. There are people that I consider to be more than friends, people who became part of my family through marriage, etc. I count myself lucky to have all of them. 

There's one other thing that I have to list, but I didn't want to relegate it to a bullet point. I am the luckiest man alive on many points, but none so much as this: Katie. Two years ago, I walked into karate class and there was this girl there.  She wore a pink uniform (a thing unheard of for anyone but Judo Gene LaBell), had pink hair, pink sneakers, a pink gym bag, and a pink water bottle. I started calling her Pinkie Pie because I do irritating things like that. Then a curious thing happened. I fell for her.  Hard. I thought there was no way a girl her age (she's 18 years younger than me) would be interested in a guy my age, but she was such a wonderful person that I knew I still wanted her in my life. So I was content to be friends with her. 

Then another curious thing happened.

She told me she didn't want to be just friends. A year after our first date, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. 

At our fairy-tale wedding.

So you see, my life isn't so bad. My life has gotten better, in fact. Depression be damned.  I fight it every day, and sometimes, all I have to do is look over and see her standing next to me to know that my life can and will get better.  Yeah, I know, I'm a sap, but I don't care. 

The bottom line is this:  For everything that's happened, for all the pain and misery, for all the sad times, I'm in a good place.  Family, friends, pets, motorcycles, and writing have helped me to climb out of the hole I've been in for years, and I'm starting to feel happy again. 

To anyone out there suffering from depression:  It can get better. It really can. Get help if you can, but hold on because you must. It gets better. Life gets better. The world gets better. And mine is a little less dim now. 

Until next time...

SAJ