Dear Donald -
I can call you Donald, can't I?
I've thought long and hard about your campaign for presidency, and I've come to a few conclusions. I'd like to know if I'm right or wrong, just between you and me. See, I know what really happened. I know how this started. I just need to give this voice because I'm pretty sure I'm right here.
So, to begin with, this whole "I'm-running-for-president" thing was a publicity stunt, wasn't it? I mean, let's face facts, you haven't been relevant in years, so you figured that a far-fetched presidential campaign would put your fifteen minutes of fame on life support for a little while, didn't you? Don't deny it. You know that's how it started out, don't you? See, Donald, I don't blame you. Jump up in front of people, make a few outrageous statements, lose miserably, and you'll be back in the limelight in no time, right?
I'm right, aren't I?
Only you didn't count on racists, sexists, and idiots who would actually agree with those asinine statements, did you? So you tried to up your game with even more insane claims, statements designed to infuriate, hate speech and attack-formatted speeches. But it didn't work, did it? You resorted to name-calling, open mocking, and fear-mongering, and it still didn't work. People still voted for you. No matter how hard you tried, you still couldn't get people to realize what a major shit-storm would occur for our nation (and the world) if you became president of our country.
And it scared you, didn't it Donald? It did. I know it did. I'm right, aren't I?
So then you did the only thing a man like you could think to do: You got worse. People couldn't possibly vote for you if you made yourself out to be a modern-day Hitler, could they? Of course not. No one would be that stupid, would they? But then, you underestimated them, didn't you? The anti-intellectuals. The fellow fear-mongers. The people who hate everything different than themselves. The self-righteous, the entitled... You underestimated them, didn't you? The louder you squawked and the more outrageous and terrible you became the more they ate it up.
And then another curious thing happened. You forgot. You forgot why you said those things to begin with. The potential power became intoxicating, didn't it Donald? You began to believe your own hype and forgot that everything you said was farce, didn't you? And now, with your own party members calling you out, you think it's too late, don't you?
It's not too late, Donald. It's not. I mean, let's be honest, you've always been a walking parody. From your augmented wives to your lies about being a self-made millionaire to your ridiculous branding schemes (Trump Steaks? Really, Donald?), you've always been more of cartoon than a real person, Donald. But you can recover a shred of self-respect. It's really easy, and people will respect you for it. Here's how:
Admit it.
Get up in front of the world and just own up to your own bullshit. Get up there and tell the world that I'm right. It was a grab for a few more minutes of fame that got out of hand. You can totally paint yourself as a saint, Donald. Just raise your hands and tell us how you were trying to cast the harsh light of ridicule on the ignorant who chose to vote for you. Tell us how you really don't believe in being a racist chauvinistic douchebag, and how you want to bow out of the race, but couldn't figure out how to gracefully do so. Then exit the race before you do more damage. Exit the race before you damn this country to the horrors of your presidency. You're already the butt of thousands of jokes that span over twenty years. Don't make the USA the butt of an even more tragic joke just because you're afraid to admit it was all a publicity stunt.
Unless I'm wrong. Unless it wasn't a publicity stunt. Unless you actually are the ignorant racist, sexist elitist that you seem to be.
And if you are, I hope the educated and empathetic outnumber your legions of hate-mongers.
Sincerely,
Scott A. Johnson
Author, Father, American
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