Great. Another blog by some guy who thinks he has something to say that anyone wants to hear. This is probably just another hipster neckbeard who wants to pontificate to an audience, and who thinks his bullshit political ideas will inspire some sort of social revolution. Right?
Not really.
My name is Scott A. Johnson. I'm a writer, a computer technician, a musician, a Kajukenbo instructor, a teacher, a father, a widow, and a husband. I also suffer from what used to be called "clinical depression" of the chemical variety and a smidgeon of PTSD. I have several blogs. One of them, Tabatha L. Johnson, was started a long time ago as a kind of experiment. I blogged about anything and everything I wanted to, until the day my wife was diagnosed with cancer. Then the blog became about giving updates. I leave it alone since the last entry as kind of a standing tribute to her.
The second blog, Strange Words, is where I dispense sage-like advice about writing. I am, after all, a published writer who thinks he knows what he's talking about (even though I've got a great deal to learn). If you're looking for writing advice, you're a little far down the rabbit hole.
This blog I've called Personal Horrors, for lack of a better name. This blog will be about what's going on in my personal life, my mind, my emotional state, and other such trivialities in which no one should really be interested. Plus pictures of my dog. Deal with it.
So about me... Like I said, I do lots of things, and I am many different things to different people. Since this blog is about me, I figure I should come clean about a few things. First, I was diagnosed with clinical depression about twenty years ago. I'll be writing an entry about depression eventually, but that's for another time. Now a-days, they call it "Major Depressive Disorder," and it's a real bitch.
I also suffer from a form of PTSD. Why? No, I wasn't a soldier or anything like that. In 2011, my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She fought until it killed her in 2013, and I stood by her the whole time, held her hand, took her to chemotherapy, and watched her wither and die. That alone would do it for some folks. But in 2013, I lost my wife's father (dementia), my uncle (heart attack), my wife of twenty years (cancer), and my mother (undiagnosed cancer), all three months apart. Then, for good measure, 2014 started out with the death of a friend I'd known for twenty years. I had to be strong for so long, that when it all broke down, I was a broken man. I had uncontrollable crying fits, rages that I couldn't explain, anxiety... I still don't sleep well.
I'm better now. It's 2016, and I can do things again. I have a dog (Sir Maximus Pugnacious, the wonder pug) and a new wife. I'm starting to put my world back together.
So why yet another blog?
This one is for me. I needed a separate place to put my personal thoughts. The writing blog will continue, as will Tabby's memorial blog. But this one is for my own mental well-being. Think of it as therapy, if you will. It'll be depressing at times. Humorous (I hope) and poignant (boy, do I hope) at others. But it will be one thing for sure: Me. This is as real as I get. This is where I get political. This is where I get maudlin. This is where I try to exorcise the demons of my own soul.
If you're still with me, thanks. Read on, if you wish.
If not, no hard feelings. First entry, coming up.
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